ABSOLUTELY POLITICALLY INCORRECT AND HILARIOUS

Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque..

They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it

inside.

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During last night's high winds a Nigerian family were killed by a

falling tree.

A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said, "We didn't even know

they were living up there".

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Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough

television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5

times a week now.

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I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a

fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.  

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

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A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates..

He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet

Mohammed.

Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.

"Are you Mohammed?" he asks.

"No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up." And he points to a

ladder that  rises into the clouds.

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbs the

ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room

where he meets

another bearded man.

He asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"

"No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still."

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he continues to climb the ladder

and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another

man with a beard.

Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"

"No, I am Jesus... You will find Mohammed higher up."

Mohammed higher than Jesus!

The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever

higher.

Once again he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard

and repeats his question:

"Are you Mohammed?" he gasps as he is, by now, totally out of breath

from all his  climbing.

"No my son...I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?"

 "Yes, please, my Lord."

 God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:

"Hey Mohammed, two coffees!!!"