Occupy the world !

I have to start by saying I don't fully understand the whole Occupy movement. You see for me I was not there at the start, I was living in a remote part of Africa at the time, so the only exposure was CNN and a few posts on Facebook, mainly my daughter, so for me all it was was people moaning about life and how unfair it all was. So when I came home late last year I wanted to get up to speed on the whole thing.

I went to vist the Occupy London camp at St.Pauls, and I must be honest to say that the people there just reaffirmed my view. People just moaning about how unfair life was, how hard life was, how the rich were all evil, how bankers were all greedy and how the world would soon end. It was all negitive, I did not hear one positive idea or suggestion. I just came away thinking how pointless the whole thing was.

Then I went online, I now had access to YouTube and so I watched copious videos and started to see both sides of the debate. And it was there I saw the first positives, social media was really being used to convey a message, and thats a really good thing. But when you check Facebook, the Occupy Movement starts to look such an American thing, 90% of the groups were US, a good thing and a bad thing in my eyes. However thanks to this wave of voices, the injustises of a country I had been living in, Nigeria, suddenly have a band-wagon they could jump on, and so "Occupy Nigeria" could take place. This for me was the second real positive.

But my issues are this, what is the point ? what is the goal ? who are these people ? and most of all, what ideas are they putting forward ?

I have personally lived beside real poverty, lived in countries that excell at political and commercial corruption, I have seen first-hand the impact of greed, I have also lived in Nigeria and South Africa, but I do wonder if this movement can or will make an actual difference. One thing I have learned through life is never take things at face value, to question is to learn.

Facebook changes your mind

The explosion of Facebook and social media in recent years has sparked plenty of interesting societal, psychological and economic questions:

Why do so many people willingly splash their lives across the web?

What does it say about privacy in 2012?

How is this explosion changing media, technology and other industries around the globe?

A great essay in the Atlantic by Nathan Jurgenson tackles all of those questions and more.

The big idea?

Social media — like photography and other technologies before it — is altering the way that humans look at the world.

Here's how Jurgenson puts it:

For those who use Facebook, whose friends are on the site and logging in many times a day, we have come to experience the world differently. We are increasingly aware of how our lives will look as a Facebook photo, status update or check-in. As I type this in a coffee shop, I can "check-in" on Foursquare, I can "tweet" a funny one-liner overheard from the table next to me and I can take an 'interesting' photo of the perfectly-formed foam on top of my cappuccino. It is easy; I can do all of this and more from my phone in a matter of minutes. And, most importantly, there will be an audience for all of this. Hundreds of the people I am closest with will view all of this and some will reply with comments and "likes."
Simply, I have been trained to see the world in terms of what I can post to the Internet. I've learned to live and present a life that is "likeable."

To Jurgenson — "social theorist of media" who is working on a dissertation at the University of Maryland on "self-documentation and social media" — this should come as no surprise.

Technology has always changed the way that we view and interact with the world, from the discovery of fire, to the invention of the wheel, to the high speeds of railroads, to the earth-centric-shattering miracles of the space program.

Living life on the web is just another step on that long technological march.
"Today, social media has also provided a new, more social way to document ourselves, lives and world," he writes. "Never before was it possible to record and display to all of our friends a stream of photos, check-ins and status updates filled with our thoughts and opinions in such quantity and with such ease. The transformative power of social media surely is of similar magnitude and consequence as the invention of the photograph."

Interesting stuff, for sure.

A question for Nigerians

I was sitting watching YouTube videos of all the various OccupyNigeria protests and one thing struck me, one question came to my mind, so I thought I would ask it out load via my blog.

If a man came to each of you as an individual and offered to give you N1m, cash with no conditions, or they would build the worlds biggest oil refinery in Nigeria, which would you choose ?

I think there in lies just one of the reasons why today, after less than a week, the Occupy Nigeria movement is already closing down and winding up, why the movement is already over. You see for me, the vast majorty of nigerians are quite selfish, and most average nigerians, those earning N18k or less, the 90%, would take the N1m and not care that the oil refinery would solve so many of the countries problems.

Is that different from other countries, from other Occupy movements around the world? Yes I believe it is, and yes I believe that is very sad. Nigeria abeg, continue what you have started here and go for the real cause of your situation.

Goodluck Jonathan is not the problem. #occupynigeria

The uprising in Nigeria, the bandwagon that is now called “Occupy Nigeria” was born out of a natural reaction to the issue of the fuel subsidy being removed. On the back of all the worlds “Occupy” movements it was only natural that Nigeria would follow suit. This is a country with a very high social media usage, mainly Facebook, ridiculous levels of unemployment, a severe lack of education and the basics of a living standard, and so all the ingredients for this type of thing. Equally, with so many Nigerians now living in the western world, their tales of a better life have raised the expectation levels of the youth back home.

But one thing I have noticed while watching the videos on YouTube and Twitter is the anti Jonathan sentiment of those protesting. Okay so as President he is a natural target, but this is more about the man, rather than the position. For me, the target for all this should be the system, not the man. Lets be honest here, removing the subsidy is the correct thing to do, yes the timing sucks, and yes the speed of it could have been done better, but GEJ is doing the right thing and is having to take action because of the extreme failings of his predecessors. Nigeria is the 8^th biggest producer of oil in the world, so why does it have to import oil for its people? That is the biggest question. 

There are refineries in Nigeria, so fix them. If needs be, sell them to the private sector, regulate them, standardise them, condition them, but above all, get them working. Build new ones, maybe via a PPP, and place them in the states that don’t have oil, Cross River would be ideal, plus some of the northern states and then start to produce your own without having to import fuel. But this has been decades in the making, so its not down to GEJ, but fixing the problem is.   

Nigeria relies far too much on its Politian’s, for me, too many countries do that. Nothing works when governments are involved, less government will always result in more action. So my message for those involved in the Occupy Nigeria campaign, ignore GEJ, attack the government and Politian’s, attack the 1%, find a leader for the cause, but above all, create the solutions to the real problems, Goodluck is not the problem  

There is no such thing as Corruption in Nigeria #occupynigeria

I had the privilege to live and work in Nigeria for almost two years and in that time I met loads of Nigerian Politian’s, including His Excellency The President. But for the context of this post I have to go back to before I left England and headed to Naija. Before I left I went online and read all about the country. Violence, Fat Houses, poverty, no education, no roads, no health care, massive unemployment, and of course corruption, that’s all you read when researching Nigeria, that’s the outside world’s view of Nigeria. Fact, everything they say is correct, and is understated. Fact, all of this does not tell the whole story of one of this planets most wonderful countries. As you read this, know that the author is a super fan of Nigeria, I truly love the Federal Republic of Nigeria and its people.

But after living there I have to say, there is no such thing as corruption in Nigeria, not as we in the west know it. I remember a number of conversations with very senior people, “big boys” and journalists and they would all tell me the same thing, there is no corruption. But hold on I hear you say, we can see it, everywhere, and I for one experienced it, first hand. So what are they talking about? What am I talking about? Nigerians are very patriotic, they love their country and so no Nigerian will ever admit to me, an oyibo, that it exists. What does exist is “the Game”, and every single person plays that game.

“Eating the money” became my favourite expression within weeks of me arriving, “Chopping the money” and “small smalls” were sayings I soon had to learn the meaning of. You see the Game is how this country works, or rather, it is why this country does not work, but most Nigerians don’t see that. If a normal person chops some money, that’s okay, if a Politian does it, that’s the game, if an outsider does it, wahala day, especially if that outsider is black. No Politian in Nigeria can get anywhere without playing the game, no one. The game is so ingrained in the fabric of the nation, it is so integral that the whole system relies on it.

During my time in Nigeria I saw it first hand, Tax collectors, Union Representatives, Judges and Lawyers, hotel staff, sales people, suppliers, accountants, doctors and teachers, charity workers, including UN staff, civil servants, journalists, tourism officials, NGO’s, the police, government officials, immigration people, the SSS, absolutely everyone was playing the game in one way or the other. It is not corruption, it is the way it is, the way the country’s economy is built, even the anti-corruption people are playing the game ! But for me as an outsider, an oyibo, the single biggest failing of the system is that they would eat the money before doing the job, at the expense of doing the job, so nothing moves forward, nothing improves.

The lesson of Doctor Bob #joke #funny

Doctor Bob had slept with one of his patients

and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much

he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt

and sense of betrayal were overwhelming.

But every now and then he'd hear an internal

reassuring voice in his head that said:

"Bob, don't worry about it. You aren't the first

medical practitioner to sleep with one of their

patients and you won't be the last.

And you're single. Just let it go."

But invariably another voice in his head

would bring him back to reality.

Whispering......

Bob...........                                 

Bob ...............

Bob..........

Bob........

...........you're a vet.

Nelson at Trafalgar 2012 #joke #funny

Nelson at Trafalgar 2012

Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."

Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."

Nelson: "Hold on, this isn't what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?"

Hardy: "Sorry sir?"

Nelson (reading aloud): “ England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledygook is this for God's sake?"

Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting “ England " past the censors, lest it be considered racist."

Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments."

Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle."

Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy on binge drinking."

Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it full speed ahead."

Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water."

Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest, please."

Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."

Nelson: "What?"

Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness; and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until proper scaffolding can be erected."

Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."

Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck Admiral."

Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."

Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier- free environment for the differently abled."

Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."

Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under- represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."

Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."

Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"

Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."

Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."

Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"

Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There are a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."

Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"

Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."

Nelson: "We're not?"

Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."

Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."

Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity coordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."

Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King."

Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age.  Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"

Nelson: "Don't tell me - Health and Safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"

Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment."

Nelson: "What about sodomy?"

Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."

Nelson: "In that case................... Kiss me, Hardy."